Why do couples argue? 7 reason – why quarrel between couples is normal
Conflicts and their constructive resolution is the only way to achieve harmony between couples. Find out what you can get if you stop argue. Why do couples argue?
You will begin to trust each other more
Conflicts which can not resolve quickly, lead such horror to many couples that they prefer to avoid them by any means. People consider such quarrels fatal for a relationship. And completely in vain.
If you manage to talk without going over to personalities, but without suppressing your emotions, and vice versa, making them available to your partner, such a quarrel will only strengthen your relationship. You will understand that when the storm settles.
After a quarrel, you will feel much better
If you manage to express your emotions and release steam, you will get rid of tension, anxiety, and fear. It will positively affect both your mental health and your physical health. It is one reason why do couples argue.
Of course, this does not mean that you need to drain all your toxic thoughts on your partner. Although sometimes it is better to express everything that boils than to keep it inside and wait until everything is formed by itself.
Greg Godek, the author of the book Love: The Course They Forgot to Teach You in School believes that the golden rule of ethics rarely works in real quarrels. The cautious conversation will lead to nothing. So sometimes it’s better to release all the emotions.
The only rule which you should adhere in quarrels is not to beat a partner and not throw heavy objects at him. In the rest – forward: noisy, slam the doors, swear last words. Do what you like, if you feel that it will help.
The partner will know about your thoughts and feelings.
Your partner can not read your thoughts. He probably does not know how much you are hurting in this situation. At the same time, the question arises: how to convey your thoughts to your partner, so he understand them correctly and does not offense? Especially, if it some kind of claim against him. How not to disillusion him with displeasure? Try not to blame, but talk about your feelings, about how the behavior of the partner reflects on you. Psychologists call this i-saying. For example, you can say: “I’m already fed up with your work.” I-saying, conveying the same thought will sound like this: “It makes me very upset that you often come home late. I would like to spend more time together. ”
It is said that an argument shows all our worst traits. But they can also discover our best qualities if we cope with the most difficult part of them.(Look at too)
You will become closer
During quarrels, you find out what is important for your partner, what he likes, what he wants, how he builds boundaries, how flexible he is, what hurts him and what he needs to feel better. It is another answer why do couples argue
If you quarreled because of your partner is throwing socks around the apartment, things can be quite different. Perhaps the reason lies in respect and personal space, and not in accuracy.
There is one more fact that cannot be ignored. Sex after a quarrel is almost any quarrel. And it will also make you closer to each other. In all the senses.
You will understand that your half is a separate person
Quarrels very quickly dispel the illusion that you have already merged into one and achieved full mutual understanding. Even good, if it never happens. So you can learn from each other all your life.
You will become better
You learn to focus on the most important thing. On the fact that your half is very important for you and you want a loved one to be happy.
When you are at the epicenter of a quarrel, you clearly are not up to fun. You feel disgusting. In a sense, quarrels are like sports training. Is it always pleasant to sweat in the gym? No. But you are pumping your weak points.
You will understand that you do not need to be perfect
Quarrels show that you are only a person. Sometimes you are in a bad mood, sometimes you are overwhelmed by stress, and sometimes you just get tired. Accordingly, and your relationship can not be ideal.
All your inner cockroaches, which you realize or do not realize, will make themselves felt in close relationships. It’s unavoidable.
During the quarrel, our inner children come into contact. They are vulnerable and irrational. You seem to be back for two or three years. Therefore, when you are hurt, remember that the child is doing it. To do this, you can keep a child’s photo of your loved one at hand.
Use conflict as an opportunity to grow up. Consider quarrels not as a hindrance, but as an aid in building healthy relationships.